addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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