why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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