my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
