carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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