? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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