never play flip cup with pint glasses
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
