id be glad to
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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