I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
