Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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