i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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