This girl is more easily done than said...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
