Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
