distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
