I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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