Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
