it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
