white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
