Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
