I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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