And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Damn victory sex feels great
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
