He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
