just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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