everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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