I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
