Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
