He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
