his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
ttyl tear gas
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
