found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
