I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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