I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
