If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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