Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
