If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
