So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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