I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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