Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
