**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
