You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
