She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
