Do you still have your period?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
