every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
