U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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