so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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