whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Farmville is her only friend.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
