i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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