If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
