dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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