WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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