i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
