I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
