erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
