Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
